OLD SAYING.
HAVING had occasion, lately, in the
course of some Oriental investigations, to consult the Tellmenow Isitsoornot, a
work which (like the Zohar of Simeon Jochaides) is scarcely known at all, even
in Europe; and which has never been quoted, to my knowledge, by any American—if
we except, perhaps, the author of the “Curiosities of American
Literature”;—having had occasion, I say, to turn over some pages of the
first—mentioned very remarkable work, I was not a little astonished to discover
that the literary world has hitherto been strangely in error respecting the
fate of the vizier's daughter, Scheherazade, as that fate is depicted in the
“Arabian Nights”; and that the denouement there given, if not altogether
inaccurate, as far as it goes, is at least to blame in not having gone very
much farther.
For full information on this interesting
topic, I must refer the inquisitive reader to the “Isitsoornot” itself, but in
the meantime, I shall be pardoned for giving a summary of what I there
discovered.
It will be remembered, that, in the
usual version of the tales, a certain monarch having good cause to be jealous
of his queen, not only puts her to death, but makes a vow, by his beard and the
prophet, to espouse each night the most beautiful maiden in his dominions, and
the next morning to deliver her up to the executioner.
Having fulfilled this vow for many years
to the letter, and with a religious punctuality and method that conferred great
credit upon him as a man of devout feeling and excellent sense, he was
interrupted one afternoon (no doubt at his prayers) by a visit from his grand
vizier, to whose daughter, it appears, there had occurred an idea.
Her name was Scheherazade, and her idea
was, that she would either redeem the land from the depopulating tax upon its
beauty, or perish, after the approved fashion of all heroines, in the attempt.
Accordingly, and although we do not find
it to be leap-year (which makes the sacrifice more meritorious), she deputes
her father, the grand vizier, to make an offer to the king of her hand. This
hand the king eagerly accepts—(he had intended to take it at all events, and
had put off the matter from day to day, only through fear of the vizier),—but,
in accepting it now, he gives all parties very distinctly to understand, that,
grand vizier or no grand vizier, he has not the slightest design of giving up
one iota of his vow or of his privileges. When, therefore, the fair Scheherazade
insisted upon marrying the king, and did actually marry him despite her
father's excellent advice not to do any thing of the kind—when she would and
did marry him, I say, will I, nill I, it was with her beautiful black eyes as
thoroughly open as the nature of the case would allow.
It seems, however, that this politic
damsel (who had been reading Machiavelli, beyond doubt), had a very ingenious
little plot in her mind. On the night of the wedding, she contrived, upon I
forget what specious pretence, to have her sister occupy a couch sufficiently
near that of the royal pair to admit of easy conversation from bed to bed; and,
a little before cock-crowing, she took care to awaken the good monarch, her
husband (who bore her none the worse will because he intended to wring her neck
on the morrow),—she managed to awaken him, I say, (although on account of a
capital conscience and an easy digestion, he slept well) by the profound
interest of a story (about a rat and a black cat, I think) which she was narrating
(all in an undertone, of course) to her sister. When the day broke, it so
happened that this history was not altogether finished, and that Scheherazade,
in the nature of things could not finish it just then, since it was high time
for her to get up and be bowstrung—a thing very little more pleasant than
hanging, only a trifle more genteel.
The king's curiosity, however,
prevailing, I am sorry to say, even over his sound religious principles,
induced him for this once to postpone the fulfilment of his vow until next
morning, for the purpose and with the hope of hearing that night how it fared
in the end with the black cat (a black cat, I think it was) and the rat.
The night having arrived, however, the
lady Scheherazade not only put the finishing stroke to the black cat and the
rat (the rat was blue) but before she well knew what she was about, found
herself deep in the intricacies of a narration, having reference (if I am not
altogether mistaken) to a pink horse (with green wings) that went, in a violent
manner, by clockwork, and was wound up with an indigo key.
With this history the king was even more
profoundly interested than with the other—and, as the day broke before its
conclusion (notwithstanding all the queen's endeavors to get through with it in
time for the bowstringing), there was again no resource but to postpone that
ceremony as before, for twenty-four hours. The next night there happened a
similar accident with a similar result; and then the next—and then again the
next; so that, in the end, the good monarch, having been unavoidably deprived
of all opportunity to keep his vow during a period of no less than one thousand
and one nights, either forgets it altogether by the expiration of this time, or
gets himself absolved of it in the regular way, or (what is more probable)
breaks it outright, as well as the head of his father confessor. At all events,
Scheherazade, who, being lineally descended from Eve, fell heir, perhaps, to
the whole seven baskets of talk, which the latter lady, we all know, picked up
from under the trees in the garden of Eden-Scheherazade, I say, finally
triumphed, and the tariff upon beauty was repealed.
Now, this conclusion (which is that of
the story as we have it upon record) is, no doubt, excessively proper and
pleasant—but alas!
like a great many pleasant things, is
more pleasant than true, and I am indebted altogether to the “Isitsoornot” for
the means of correcting the error. “Le mieux,” says a French proverb, “est
l'ennemi du bien,” and, in mentioning that Scheherazade had inherited the seven
baskets of talk, I should have added that she put them out at compound interest
until they amounted to seventy-seven.
“My dear sister,” said she, on the
thousand-and-second night, (I quote the language of the “Isitsoornot” at this point,
verbatim) “my dear sister,” said she, “now that all this little difficulty
about the bowstring has blown over, and that this odious tax is so happily
repealed, I feel that I have been guilty of great indiscretion in withholding
from you and the king (who I am sorry to say, snores—a thing no gentleman would
do) the full conclusion of Sinbad the sailor. This person went through numerous
other and more interesting adventures than those which I related; but the truth
is, I felt sleepy on the particular night of their narration, and so was
seduced into cutting them short—a grievous piece of misconduct, for which I
only trust that Allah will forgive me. But even yet it is not too late to
remedy my great neglect—and as soon as I have given the king a pinch or two in
order to wake him up so far that he may stop making that horrible noise, I will
forthwith entertain you (and him if he pleases) with the sequel of this very
remarkable story.
Hereupon the sister of Scheherazade, as
I have it from the “Isitsoornot,” expressed no very particular intensity of
gratification; but the king, having been sufficiently pinched, at length ceased
snoring, and finally said, “hum!” and then “hoo!” when the queen, understanding
these words (which are no doubt Arabic) to signify that he was all attention,
and would do his best not to snore any more—the queen, I say, having arranged
these matters to her satisfaction, re-entered thus, at once, into the history
of Sinbad the sailor:
“‘At length, in my old age, (these are
the words of Sinbad himself, as retailed by Scheherazade)—'at length, in my old
age, and after enjoying many years of tranquillity at home, I became once more
possessed of a desire of visiting foreign countries; and one day, without
acquainting any of my family with my design, I packed up some bundles of such
merchandise as was most precious and least bulky, and, engaged a porter to
carry them, went with him down to the sea-shore, to await the arrival of any
chance vessel that might convey me out of the kingdom into some region which I
had not as yet explored.
“‘Having deposited the packages upon the
sands, we sat down beneath some trees, and looked out into the ocean in the
hope of perceiving a ship, but during several hours we saw none whatever. At
length I fancied that I could hear a singular buzzing or humming sound; and the
porter, after listening awhile, declared that he also could distinguish it.
Presently it grew louder, and then still louder, so that we could have no doubt
that the object which caused it was approaching us. At length, on the edge of
the horizon, we discovered a black speck, which rapidly increased in size until
we made it out to be a vast monster, swimming with a great part of its body
above the surface of the sea. It came toward us with inconceivable swiftness,
throwing up huge waves of foam around its breast, and illuminating all that
part of the sea through which it passed, with a long line of fire that extended
far off into the distance.
“‘As the thing drew near we saw it very
distinctly. Its length was equal to that of three of the loftiest trees that
grow, and it was as wide as the great hall of audience in your palace, O most
sublime and munificent of the Caliphs. Its body, which was unlike that of
ordinary fishes, was as solid as a rock, and of a jetty blackness throughout
all that portion of it which floated above the water, with the exception of a
narrow blood-red streak that completely begirdled it. The belly, which floated
beneath the surface, and of which we could get only a glimpse now and then as
the monster rose and fell with the billows, was entirely covered with metallic
scales, of a color like that of the moon in misty weather. The back was flat
and nearly white, and from it there extended upwards of six spines, about half
the length of the whole body.
“‘The horrible creature had no mouth
that we could perceive, but, as if to make up for this deficiency, it was
provided with at least four score of eyes, that protruded from their sockets
like those of the green dragon-fly, and were arranged all around the body in
two rows, one above the other, and parallel to the blood-red streak, which
seemed to answer the purpose of an eyebrow. Two or three of these dreadful eyes
were much larger than the others, and had the appearance of solid gold.
“‘Although this beast approached us, as
I have before said, with the greatest rapidity, it must have been moved
altogether by necromancy—for it had neither fins like a fish nor web-feet like
a duck, nor wings like the seashell which is blown along in the manner of a
vessel; nor yet did it writhe itself forward as do the eels. Its head and its
tail were shaped precisely alike, only, not far from the latter, were two small
holes that served for nostrils, and through which the monster puffed out its
thick breath with prodigious violence, and with a shrieking, disagreeable
noise.
“‘Our terror at beholding this hideous
thing was very great, but it was even surpassed by our astonishment, when upon
getting a nearer look, we perceived upon the creature's back a vast number of
animals about the size and shape of men, and altogether much resembling them,
except that they wore no garments (as men do), being supplied (by nature, no
doubt) with an ugly uncomfortable covering, a good deal like cloth, but fitting
so tight to the skin, as to render the poor wretches laughably awkward, and put
them apparently to severe pain.
On the very tips of their heads were
certain square-looking boxes, which, at first sight, I thought might have been
intended to answer as turbans, but I soon discovered that they were excessively
heavy and solid, and I therefore concluded they were contrivances designed, by
their great weight, to keep the heads of the animals steady and safe upon their
shoulders. Around the necks of the creatures were fastened black collars,
(badges of servitude, no doubt,) such as we keep on our dogs, only much wider
and infinitely stiffer, so that it was quite impossible for these poor victims
to move their heads in any direction without moving the body at the same time;
and thus they were doomed to perpetual contemplation of their noses—a view
puggish and snubby in a wonderful, if not positively in an awful degree.
“‘When the monster had nearly reached
the shore where we stood, it suddenly pushed out one of its eyes to a great
extent, and emitted from it a terrible flash of fire, accompanied by a dense
cloud of smoke, and a noise that I can compare to nothing but thunder. As the
smoke cleared away, we saw one of the odd man-animals standing near the head of
the large beast with a trumpet in his hand, through which (putting it to his
mouth) he presently addressed us in loud, harsh, and disagreeable accents,
that, perhaps, we should have mistaken for language, had they not come
altogether through the nose.
“‘Being thus evidently spoken to, I was
at a loss how to reply, as I could in no manner understand what was said; and
in this difficulty I turned to the porter, who was near swooning through
affright, and demanded of him his opinion as to what species of monster it was,
what it wanted, and what kind of creatures those were that so swarmed upon its
back. To this the porter replied, as well as he could for trepidation, that he
had once before heard of this sea-beast; that it was a cruel demon, with bowels
of sulphur and blood of fire, created by evil genii as the means of inflicting
misery upon mankind; that the things upon its back were vermin, such as
sometimes infest cats and dogs, only a little larger and more savage; and that
these vermin had their uses, however evil—for, through the torture they caused
the beast by their nibbling and stingings, it was goaded into that degree of
wrath which was requisite to make it roar and commit ill, and so fulfil the
vengeful and malicious designs of the wicked genii.
“This account determined me to take to
my heels, and, without once even looking behind me, I ran at full speed up into
the hills, while the porter ran equally fast, although nearly in an opposite
direction, so that, by these means, he finally made his escape with my bundles,
of which I have no doubt he took excellent care—although this is a point I
cannot determine, as I do not remember that I ever beheld him again.
“‘For myself, I was so hotly pursued by
a swarm of the men-vermin (who had come to the shore in boats) that I was very
soon overtaken, bound hand and foot, and conveyed to the beast, which
immediately swam out again into the middle of the sea.
“‘I now bitterly repented my folly in
quitting a comfortable home to peril my life in such adventures as this; but
regret being useless, I made the best of my condition, and exerted myself to
secure the goodwill of the man-animal that owned the trumpet, and who appeared
to exercise authority over his fellows. I succeeded so well in this endeavor
that, in a few days, the creature bestowed upon me various tokens of his favor,
and in the end even went to the trouble of teaching me the rudiments of what it
was vain enough to denominate its language; so that, at length, I was enabled
to converse with it readily, and came to make it comprehend the ardent desire I
had of seeing the world.
“‘Washish squashish squeak, Sinbad,
hey-diddle diddle, grunt unt grumble, hiss, fiss, whiss,’ said he to me, one
day after dinner- but I beg a thousand pardons, I had forgotten that your
majesty is not conversant with the dialect of the Cock-neighs (so the
man-animals were called; I presume because their language formed the connecting
link between that of the horse and that of the rooster). With your permission,
I will translate. ‘Washish squashish,’ and so forth:—that is to say, ‘I am
happy to find, my dear Sinbad, that you are really a very excellent fellow; we
are now about doing a thing which is called circumnavigating the globe; and
since you are so desirous of seeing the world, I will strain a point and give
you a free passage upon back of the beast.’”
When the Lady Scheherazade had proceeded
thus far, relates the “Isitsoornot,” the king turned over from his left side to
his right, and said:
“It is, in fact, very surprising, my
dear queen, that you omitted, hitherto, these latter adventures of Sinbad. Do
you know I think them exceedingly entertaining and strange?”
The king having thus expressed himself,
we are told, the fair Scheherazade resumed her history in the following words:
“Sinbad went on in this manner with his
narrative to the caliph- ‘I thanked the man-animal for its kindness, and soon
found myself very much at home on the beast, which swam at a prodigious rate
through the ocean; although the surface of the latter is, in that part of the world,
by no means flat, but round like a pomegranate, so that we went—so to
say—either up hill or down hill all the time.’
“That I think, was very singular,”
interrupted the king.
“Nevertheless, it is quite true,”
replied Scheherazade.
“I have my doubts,” rejoined the king;
“but, pray, be so good as to go on with the story.”
“I will,” said the queen. “‘The beast,’
continued Sinbad to the caliph, ‘swam, as I have related, up hill and down hill
until, at length, we arrived at an island, many hundreds of miles in
circumference, but which, nevertheless, had been built in the middle of the sea
by a colony of little things like caterpillars’”<![if !supportFootnotes]>[1]<![endif]>
“Hum!” said the king.
“‘Leaving this island,’ said Sinbad—(for
Scheherazade, it must be understood, took no notice of her husband's
ill-mannered ejaculation) ‘leaving this island, we came to another where the
forests were of solid stone, and so hard that they shivered to pieces the
finest-tempered axes with which we endeavoured to cut them down.<![if !supportFootnotes]>[2]<![endif]>'"
“Hum!” said the king, again; but
Scheherazade, paying him no attention, continued in the language of Sinbad.
“‘Passing beyond this last island, we
reached a country where there was a cave that ran to the distance of thirty or
forty miles within the bowels of the earth, and that contained a greater number
of far more spacious and more magnificent palaces than are to be found in all
Damascus and Bagdad. From the roofs of these palaces there hung myriads of
gems, liked diamonds, but larger than men; and in among the streets of towers
and pyramids and temples, there flowed immense rivers as black as ebony, and
swarming with fish that had no eyes. ‘”<![if !supportFootnotes]>[3]<![endif]>
“Hum!” said the king. “‘We then swam
into a region of the sea where we found a lofty mountain, down whose sides
there streamed torrents of melted metal, some of which were twelve miles wide
and sixty miles long<![if !supportFootnotes]>[4]<![endif]>;
while from an abyss on the summit, issued so vast a quantity of ashes that the
sun was entirely blotted out from the heavens, and it became darker than the
darkest midnight; so that when we were even at the distance of a hundred and
fifty miles from the mountain, it was impossible to see the whitest object,
however close we held it to our eyes.’<![if !supportFootnotes]>[5]<![endif]>”
“Hum!” said the king.
“‘After quitting this coast, the beast
continued his voyage until we met with a land in which the nature of things
seemed reversed—for we here saw a great lake, at the bottom of which, more than
a hundred feet beneath the surface of the water, there flourished in full leaf
a forest of tall and luxuriant trees.’<![if !supportFootnotes]>[6]<![endif]>”
“Hoo!” said the king.
“Some hundred miles farther on brought
us to a climate where the atmosphere was so dense as to sustain iron or steel,
just as our own does feather.’<![if !supportFootnotes]>[7]<![endif]>”
“Fiddle de dee,” said the king.
“Proceeding still in the same direction,
we presently arrived at the most magnificent region in the whole world. Through
it there meandered a glorious river for several thousands of miles. This river
was of unspeakable depth, and of a transparency richer than that of amber. It
was from three to six miles in width; and its banks which arose on either side
to twelve hundred feet in perpendicular height, were crowned with
ever-blossoming trees and perpetual sweet-scented flowers, that made the whole
territory one gorgeous garden; but the name of this luxuriant land was the
Kingdom of Horror, and to enter it was inevitable death.’<![if !supportFootnotes]>[8]<![endif]>”
“Humph!” said the king.
“‘We left this kingdom in great haste,
and, after some days, came to another, where we were astonished to perceive
myriads of monstrous animals with horns resembling scythes upon their heads.
These hideous beasts dig for themselves vast caverns in the soil, of a funnel
shape, and line the sides of them with, rocks, so disposed one upon the other
that they fall instantly, when trodden upon by other animals, thus precipitating
them into the monster's dens, where their blood is immediately sucked, and
their carcasses afterwards hurled contemptuously out to an immense distance
from “the caverns of death.<![if !supportFootnotes]>[9]<![endif]>’”
“Pooh!” said the king.
“‘Continuing our progress, we perceived
a district with vegetables that grew not upon any soil but in the air.<![if !supportFootnotes]>[10]<![endif]>
There were others that sprang from the substance of other vegetables<![if !supportFootnotes]>[11]<![endif]>;
others that derived their substance from the bodies of living animals<![if !supportFootnotes]>[12]<![endif]>;
and then again, there were others that glowed all over with intense fire<![if !supportFootnotes]>[13]<![endif]>;
others that moved from place to place at pleasure,<![if !supportFootnotes]>[14]<![endif]>
and what was still more wonderful, we discovered flowers that lived and
breathed and moved their limbs at will and had, moreover, the detestable
passion of mankind for enslaving other creatures, and confining them in horrid
and solitary prisons until the fulfillment of appointed tasks.’<![if !supportFootnotes]>[15]<![endif]>”
“Pshaw!” said the king.
“‘Quitting this land, we soon arrived at
another in which the bees and the birds are mathematicians of such genius and
erudition, that they give daily instructions in the science of geometry to the
wise men of the empire. The king of the place having offered a reward for the
solution of two very difficult problems, they were solved upon the spot—the one
by the bees, and the other by the birds; but the king keeping their solution a
secret, it was only after the most profound researches and labor, and the
writing of an infinity of big books, during a long series of years, that the
men-mathematicians at length arrived at the identical solutions which had been
given upon the spot by the bees and by the birds.’<![if !supportFootnotes]>[16]<![endif]>”
“Oh my!” said the king.
“‘We had scarcely lost sight of this
empire when we found ourselves close upon another, from whose shores there flew
over our heads a flock of fowls a mile in breadth, and two hundred and forty
miles long; so that, although they flew a mile during every minute, it required
no less than four hours for the whole flock to pass over us—in which there were
several millions of millions of fowl.’<![if !supportFootnotes]>[17]<![endif]>”
“Oh fy!” said the king.
“‘No sooner had we got rid of these
birds, which occasioned us great annoyance, than we were terrified by the
appearance of a fowl of another kind, and infinitely larger than even the rocs
which I met in my former voyages; for it was bigger than the biggest of the
domes on your seraglio, oh, most Munificent of Caliphs. This terrible fowl had
no head that we could perceive, but was fashioned entirely of belly, which was
of a prodigious fatness and roundness, of a soft-looking substance, smooth,
shining and striped with various colors. In its talons, the monster was bearing
away to his eyrie in the heavens, a house from which it had knocked off the
roof, and in the interior of which we distinctly saw human beings, who, beyond
doubt, were in a state of frightful despair at the horrible fate which awaited
them.
We shouted with all our might, in the
hope of frightening the bird into letting go of its prey, but it merely gave a
snort or puff, as if of rage and then let fall upon our heads a heavy sack
which proved to be filled with sand!’”
“Stuff!” said the king.
“‘It was just after this adventure that
we encountered a continent of immense extent and prodigious solidity, but
which, nevertheless, was supported entirely upon the back of a sky-blue cow
that had no fewer than four hundred horns.’<![if !supportFootnotes]>[18]<![endif]>”
“That, now, I believe,” said the king,
“because I have read something of the kind before, in a book.”
“‘We passed immediately beneath this
continent, (swimming in between the legs of the cow, and, after some hours,
found ourselves in a wonderful country indeed, which, I was informed by the
man-animal, was his own native land, inhabited by things of his own species.
This elevated the man-animal very much in my esteem, and in fact, I now began
to feel ashamed of the contemptuous familiarity with which I had treated him;
for I found that the man-animals in general were a nation of the most powerful
magicians, who lived with worms in their brain,<![if !supportFootnotes]>[19]<![endif]>
which, no doubt, served to stimulate them by their painful writhings and
wrigglings to the most miraculous efforts of imagination!’”
“Nonsense!” said the king.
“‘Among the magicians, were domesticated
several animals of very singular kinds; for example, there was a huge horse
whose bones were iron and whose blood was boiling water. In place of corn, he
had black stones for his usual food; and yet, in spite of so hard a diet, he
was so strong and swift that he would drag a load more weighty than the
grandest temple in this city, at a rate surpassing that of the flight of most
birds.’<![if !supportFootnotes]>[20]<![endif]>”
“Twattle!” said the king.
“‘I saw, also, among these people a hen
without feathers, but bigger than a camel; instead of flesh and bone she had
iron and brick; her blood, like that of the horse, (to whom, in fact, she was
nearly related,) was boiling water; and like him she ate nothing but wood or
black stones. This hen brought forth very frequently, a hundred chickens in the
day; and, after birth, they took up their residence for several weeks within
the stomach of their mother.’<![if !supportFootnotes]>[21]<![endif]>”
“Fa! lal!” said the king.
“‘One of this nation of mighty conjurors
created a man out of brass and wood, and leather, and endowed him with such
ingenuity that he would have beaten at chess, all the race of mankind with the
exception of the great Caliph, Haroun Alraschid.<![if !supportFootnotes]>[22]<![endif]>
Another of these magi constructed (of like material) a creature that put to
shame even the genius of him who made it; for so great were its reasoning
powers that, in a second, it performed calculations of so vast an extent that
they would have required the united labor of fifty thousand fleshy men for a
year.<![if !supportFootnotes]>[23]<![endif]>
But a still more wonderful conjuror fashioned for himself a mighty thing that
was neither man nor beast, but which had brains of lead, intermixed with a
black matter like pitch, and fingers that it employed with such incredible
speed and dexterity that it would have had no trouble in writing out twenty
thousand copies of the Koran in an hour, and this with so exquisite a
precision, that in all the copies there should not be found one to vary from another
by the breadth of the finest hair. This thing was of prodigious strength, so
that it erected or overthrew the mightiest empires at a breath; but its powers
were exercised equally for evil and for good. ‘”
“Ridiculous!” said the king.
“‘Among this nation of necromancers
there was also one who had in his veins the blood of the salamanders; for he
made no scruple of sitting down to smoke his chibouc in a red-hot oven until
his dinner was thoroughly roasted upon its floor.<![if !supportFootnotes]>[24]<![endif]>
Another had the faculty of converting the common metals into gold, without even
looking at them during the process.<![if !supportFootnotes]>[25]<![endif]>
Another had such a delicacy of touch that he made a wire so fine as to be
invisible<![if !supportFootnotes]>[26]<![endif]>.
Another had such quickness of perception that he counted all the separate
motions of an elastic body, while it was springing backward and forward at the
rate of nine hundred millions of times in a second.’<![if !supportFootnotes]>[27]<![endif]>”
“Absurd!” said the king.
“‘Another of these magicians, by means
of a fluid that nobody ever yet saw, could make the corpses of his friends
brandish their arms, kick out their legs, fight, or even get up and dance at
his will.
<![if !supportFootnotes]>[28]<![endif]>Another had cultivated his voice to so
great an extent that he could have made himself heard from one end of the world
to the other.
<![if !supportFootnotes]>[29]<![endif]>Another had so long an arm that he could
sit down in Damascus and indite a letter at Bagdad—or indeed at any distance
whatsoever<![if !supportFootnotes]>[30]<![endif]>.
Another commanded the lightning to come down to him out of the heavens, and it
came at his call; and served him for a plaything when it came. Another took two
loud sounds and out of them made a silence. Another constructed a deep darkness
out of two brilliant lights.<![if !supportFootnotes]>[31]<![endif]>
Another made ice in a red-hot furnace<![if !supportFootnotes]>[32]<![endif]>.
Another directed the sun to paint his portrait, and the sun did.
<![if !supportFootnotes]>[33]<![endif]>Another took this luminary with the moon
and the planets, and having first weighed them with scrupulous accuracy, probed
into their depths and found out the solidity of the substance of which they
were made. But the whole nation is, indeed, of so surprising a necromantic
ability, that not even their infants, nor their commonest cats and dogs have
any difficulty in seeing objects that do not exist at all, or that for twenty
millions of years before the birth of the nation itself had been blotted out
from the face of creation.<![if !supportFootnotes]>[34]<![endif]>'"
Analogous experiments in respect to
sound produce analogous results.
“Preposterous!” said the king.
“‘The wives and daughters of these
incomparably great and wise magi,’” continued Scheherazade, without being in
any manner disturbed by these frequent and most ungentlemanly interruptions on
the part of her husband—“‘the wives and daughters of these eminent conjurers
are every thing that is accomplished and refined; and would be every thing that
is interesting and beautiful, but for an unhappy fatality that besets them, and
from which not even the miraculous powers of their husbands and fathers has,
hitherto, been adequate to save. Some fatalities come in certain shapes, and
some in others—but this of which I speak has come in the shape of a crotchet.
‘”
“A what?” said the king.
“‘A crotchet’” said Scheherazade. “‘One
of the evil genii, who are perpetually upon the watch to inflict ill, has put
it into the heads of these accomplished ladies that the thing which we describe
as personal beauty consists altogether in the protuberance of the region which
lies not very far below the small of the back. Perfection of loveliness, they
say, is in the direct ratio of the extent of this lump. Having been long
possessed of this idea, and bolsters being cheap in that country, the days have
long gone by since it was possible to distinguish a woman from a dromedary-’”
“Stop!” said the king—“I can't stand
that, and I won't. You have already given me a dreadful headache with your
lies. The day, too, I perceive, is beginning to break. How long have we been
married?—my conscience is getting to be troublesome again. And then that
dromedary touch—do you take me for a fool? Upon the whole, you might as well
get up and be throttled.”
These words, as I learn from the
“Isitsoornot,” both grieved and astonished Scheherazade; but, as she knew the
king to be a man of scrupulous integrity, and quite unlikely to forfeit his
word, she submitted to her fate with a good grace. She derived, however, great
consolation, (during the tightening of the bowstring,) from the reflection that
much of the history remained still untold, and that the petulance of her brute
of a husband had reaped for him a most righteous reward, in depriving him of
many inconceivable adventures.
<![if !supportFootnotes]>
OLD SAYING.
HAVING had occasion, lately, in the
course of some Oriental investigations, to consult the Tellmenow Isitsoornot, a
work which (like the Zohar of Simeon Jochaides) is scarcely known at all, even
in Europe; and which has never been quoted, to my knowledge, by any American—if
we except, perhaps, the author of the “Curiosities of American
Literature”;—having had occasion, I say, to turn over some pages of the
first—mentioned very remarkable work, I was not a little astonished to discover
that the literary world has hitherto been strangely in error respecting the
fate of the vizier's daughter, Scheherazade, as that fate is depicted in the
“Arabian Nights”; and that the denouement there given, if not altogether
inaccurate, as far as it goes, is at least to blame in not having gone very
much farther.
For full information on this interesting
topic, I must refer the inquisitive reader to the “Isitsoornot” itself, but in
the meantime, I shall be pardoned for giving a summary of what I there
discovered.
It will be remembered, that, in the
usual version of the tales, a certain monarch having good cause to be jealous
of his queen, not only puts her to death, but makes a vow, by his beard and the
prophet, to espouse each night the most beautiful maiden in his dominions, and
the next morning to deliver her up to the executioner.
Having fulfilled this vow for many years
to the letter, and with a religious punctuality and method that conferred great
credit upon him as a man of devout feeling and excellent sense, he was
interrupted one afternoon (no doubt at his prayers) by a visit from his grand
vizier, to whose daughter, it appears, there had occurred an idea.
Her name was Scheherazade, and her idea
was, that she would either redeem the land from the depopulating tax upon its
beauty, or perish, after the approved fashion of all heroines, in the attempt.
Accordingly, and although we do not find
it to be leap-year (which makes the sacrifice more meritorious), she deputes
her father, the grand vizier, to make an offer to the king of her hand. This
hand the king eagerly accepts—(he had intended to take it at all events, and
had put off the matter from day to day, only through fear of the vizier),—but,
in accepting it now, he gives all parties very distinctly to understand, that,
grand vizier or no grand vizier, he has not the slightest design of giving up
one iota of his vow or of his privileges. When, therefore, the fair Scheherazade
insisted upon marrying the king, and did actually marry him despite her
father's excellent advice not to do any thing of the kind—when she would and
did marry him, I say, will I, nill I, it was with her beautiful black eyes as
thoroughly open as the nature of the case would allow.
It seems, however, that this politic
damsel (who had been reading Machiavelli, beyond doubt), had a very ingenious
little plot in her mind. On the night of the wedding, she contrived, upon I
forget what specious pretence, to have her sister occupy a couch sufficiently
near that of the royal pair to admit of easy conversation from bed to bed; and,
a little before cock-crowing, she took care to awaken the good monarch, her
husband (who bore her none the worse will because he intended to wring her neck
on the morrow),—she managed to awaken him, I say, (although on account of a
capital conscience and an easy digestion, he slept well) by the profound
interest of a story (about a rat and a black cat, I think) which she was narrating
(all in an undertone, of course) to her sister. When the day broke, it so
happened that this history was not altogether finished, and that Scheherazade,
in the nature of things could not finish it just then, since it was high time
for her to get up and be bowstrung—a thing very little more pleasant than
hanging, only a trifle more genteel.
The king's curiosity, however,
prevailing, I am sorry to say, even over his sound religious principles,
induced him for this once to postpone the fulfilment of his vow until next
morning, for the purpose and with the hope of hearing that night how it fared
in the end with the black cat (a black cat, I think it was) and the rat.
The night having arrived, however, the
lady Scheherazade not only put the finishing stroke to the black cat and the
rat (the rat was blue) but before she well knew what she was about, found
herself deep in the intricacies of a narration, having reference (if I am not
altogether mistaken) to a pink horse (with green wings) that went, in a violent
manner, by clockwork, and was wound up with an indigo key.
With this history the king was even more
profoundly interested than with the other—and, as the day broke before its
conclusion (notwithstanding all the queen's endeavors to get through with it in
time for the bowstringing), there was again no resource but to postpone that
ceremony as before, for twenty-four hours. The next night there happened a
similar accident with a similar result; and then the next—and then again the
next; so that, in the end, the good monarch, having been unavoidably deprived
of all opportunity to keep his vow during a period of no less than one thousand
and one nights, either forgets it altogether by the expiration of this time, or
gets himself absolved of it in the regular way, or (what is more probable)
breaks it outright, as well as the head of his father confessor. At all events,
Scheherazade, who, being lineally descended from Eve, fell heir, perhaps, to
the whole seven baskets of talk, which the latter lady, we all know, picked up
from under the trees in the garden of Eden-Scheherazade, I say, finally
triumphed, and the tariff upon beauty was repealed.
Now, this conclusion (which is that of
the story as we have it upon record) is, no doubt, excessively proper and
pleasant—but alas!
like a great many pleasant things, is
more pleasant than true, and I am indebted altogether to the “Isitsoornot” for
the means of correcting the error. “Le mieux,” says a French proverb, “est
l'ennemi du bien,” and, in mentioning that Scheherazade had inherited the seven
baskets of talk, I should have added that she put them out at compound interest
until they amounted to seventy-seven.
“My dear sister,” said she, on the
thousand-and-second night, (I quote the language of the “Isitsoornot” at this point,
verbatim) “my dear sister,” said she, “now that all this little difficulty
about the bowstring has blown over, and that this odious tax is so happily
repealed, I feel that I have been guilty of great indiscretion in withholding
from you and the king (who I am sorry to say, snores—a thing no gentleman would
do) the full conclusion of Sinbad the sailor. This person went through numerous
other and more interesting adventures than those which I related; but the truth
is, I felt sleepy on the particular night of their narration, and so was
seduced into cutting them short—a grievous piece of misconduct, for which I
only trust that Allah will forgive me. But even yet it is not too late to
remedy my great neglect—and as soon as I have given the king a pinch or two in
order to wake him up so far that he may stop making that horrible noise, I will
forthwith entertain you (and him if he pleases) with the sequel of this very
remarkable story.
Hereupon the sister of Scheherazade, as
I have it from the “Isitsoornot,” expressed no very particular intensity of
gratification; but the king, having been sufficiently pinched, at length ceased
snoring, and finally said, “hum!” and then “hoo!” when the queen, understanding
these words (which are no doubt Arabic) to signify that he was all attention,
and would do his best not to snore any more—the queen, I say, having arranged
these matters to her satisfaction, re-entered thus, at once, into the history
of Sinbad the sailor:
“‘At length, in my old age, (these are
the words of Sinbad himself, as retailed by Scheherazade)—'at length, in my old
age, and after enjoying many years of tranquillity at home, I became once more
possessed of a desire of visiting foreign countries; and one day, without
acquainting any of my family with my design, I packed up some bundles of such
merchandise as was most precious and least bulky, and, engaged a porter to
carry them, went with him down to the sea-shore, to await the arrival of any
chance vessel that might convey me out of the kingdom into some region which I
had not as yet explored.
“‘Having deposited the packages upon the
sands, we sat down beneath some trees, and looked out into the ocean in the
hope of perceiving a ship, but during several hours we saw none whatever. At
length I fancied that I could hear a singular buzzing or humming sound; and the
porter, after listening awhile, declared that he also could distinguish it.
Presently it grew louder, and then still louder, so that we could have no doubt
that the object which caused it was approaching us. At length, on the edge of
the horizon, we discovered a black speck, which rapidly increased in size until
we made it out to be a vast monster, swimming with a great part of its body
above the surface of the sea. It came toward us with inconceivable swiftness,
throwing up huge waves of foam around its breast, and illuminating all that
part of the sea through which it passed, with a long line of fire that extended
far off into the distance.
“‘As the thing drew near we saw it very
distinctly. Its length was equal to that of three of the loftiest trees that
grow, and it was as wide as the great hall of audience in your palace, O most
sublime and munificent of the Caliphs. Its body, which was unlike that of
ordinary fishes, was as solid as a rock, and of a jetty blackness throughout
all that portion of it which floated above the water, with the exception of a
narrow blood-red streak that completely begirdled it. The belly, which floated
beneath the surface, and of which we could get only a glimpse now and then as
the monster rose and fell with the billows, was entirely covered with metallic
scales, of a color like that of the moon in misty weather. The back was flat
and nearly white, and from it there extended upwards of six spines, about half
the length of the whole body.
“‘The horrible creature had no mouth
that we could perceive, but, as if to make up for this deficiency, it was
provided with at least four score of eyes, that protruded from their sockets
like those of the green dragon-fly, and were arranged all around the body in
two rows, one above the other, and parallel to the blood-red streak, which
seemed to answer the purpose of an eyebrow. Two or three of these dreadful eyes
were much larger than the others, and had the appearance of solid gold.
“‘Although this beast approached us, as
I have before said, with the greatest rapidity, it must have been moved
altogether by necromancy—for it had neither fins like a fish nor web-feet like
a duck, nor wings like the seashell which is blown along in the manner of a
vessel; nor yet did it writhe itself forward as do the eels. Its head and its
tail were shaped precisely alike, only, not far from the latter, were two small
holes that served for nostrils, and through which the monster puffed out its
thick breath with prodigious violence, and with a shrieking, disagreeable
noise.
“‘Our terror at beholding this hideous
thing was very great, but it was even surpassed by our astonishment, when upon
getting a nearer look, we perceived upon the creature's back a vast number of
animals about the size and shape of men, and altogether much resembling them,
except that they wore no garments (as men do), being supplied (by nature, no
doubt) with an ugly uncomfortable covering, a good deal like cloth, but fitting
so tight to the skin, as to render the poor wretches laughably awkward, and put
them apparently to severe pain.
On the very tips of their heads were
certain square-looking boxes, which, at first sight, I thought might have been
intended to answer as turbans, but I soon discovered that they were excessively
heavy and solid, and I therefore concluded they were contrivances designed, by
their great weight, to keep the heads of the animals steady and safe upon their
shoulders. Around the necks of the creatures were fastened black collars,
(badges of servitude, no doubt,) such as we keep on our dogs, only much wider
and infinitely stiffer, so that it was quite impossible for these poor victims
to move their heads in any direction without moving the body at the same time;
and thus they were doomed to perpetual contemplation of their noses—a view
puggish and snubby in a wonderful, if not positively in an awful degree.
“‘When the monster had nearly reached
the shore where we stood, it suddenly pushed out one of its eyes to a great
extent, and emitted from it a terrible flash of fire, accompanied by a dense
cloud of smoke, and a noise that I can compare to nothing but thunder. As the
smoke cleared away, we saw one of the odd man-animals standing near the head of
the large beast with a trumpet in his hand, through which (putting it to his
mouth) he presently addressed us in loud, harsh, and disagreeable accents,
that, perhaps, we should have mistaken for language, had they not come
altogether through the nose.
“‘Being thus evidently spoken to, I was
at a loss how to reply, as I could in no manner understand what was said; and
in this difficulty I turned to the porter, who was near swooning through
affright, and demanded of him his opinion as to what species of monster it was,
what it wanted, and what kind of creatures those were that so swarmed upon its
back. To this the porter replied, as well as he could for trepidation, that he
had once before heard of this sea-beast; that it was a cruel demon, with bowels
of sulphur and blood of fire, created by evil genii as the means of inflicting
misery upon mankind; that the things upon its back were vermin, such as
sometimes infest cats and dogs, only a little larger and more savage; and that
these vermin had their uses, however evil—for, through the torture they caused
the beast by their nibbling and stingings, it was goaded into that degree of
wrath which was requisite to make it roar and commit ill, and so fulfil the
vengeful and malicious designs of the wicked genii.
“This account determined me to take to
my heels, and, without once even looking behind me, I ran at full speed up into
the hills, while the porter ran equally fast, although nearly in an opposite
direction, so that, by these means, he finally made his escape with my bundles,
of which I have no doubt he took excellent care—although this is a point I
cannot determine, as I do not remember that I ever beheld him again.
“‘For myself, I was so hotly pursued by
a swarm of the men-vermin (who had come to the shore in boats) that I was very
soon overtaken, bound hand and foot, and conveyed to the beast, which
immediately swam out again into the middle of the sea.
“‘I now bitterly repented my folly in
quitting a comfortable home to peril my life in such adventures as this; but
regret being useless, I made the best of my condition, and exerted myself to
secure the goodwill of the man-animal that owned the trumpet, and who appeared
to exercise authority over his fellows. I succeeded so well in this endeavor
that, in a few days, the creature bestowed upon me various tokens of his favor,
and in the end even went to the trouble of teaching me the rudiments of what it
was vain enough to denominate its language; so that, at length, I was enabled
to converse with it readily, and came to make it comprehend the ardent desire I
had of seeing the world.
“‘Washish squashish squeak, Sinbad,
hey-diddle diddle, grunt unt grumble, hiss, fiss, whiss,’ said he to me, one
day after dinner- but I beg a thousand pardons, I had forgotten that your
majesty is not conversant with the dialect of the Cock-neighs (so the
man-animals were called; I presume because their language formed the connecting
link between that of the horse and that of the rooster). With your permission,
I will translate. ‘Washish squashish,’ and so forth:—that is to say, ‘I am
happy to find, my dear Sinbad, that you are really a very excellent fellow; we
are now about doing a thing which is called circumnavigating the globe; and
since you are so desirous of seeing the world, I will strain a point and give
you a free passage upon back of the beast.’”
When the Lady Scheherazade had proceeded
thus far, relates the “Isitsoornot,” the king turned over from his left side to
his right, and said:
“It is, in fact, very surprising, my
dear queen, that you omitted, hitherto, these latter adventures of Sinbad. Do
you know I think them exceedingly entertaining and strange?”
The king having thus expressed himself,
we are told, the fair Scheherazade resumed her history in the following words:
“Sinbad went on in this manner with his
narrative to the caliph- ‘I thanked the man-animal for its kindness, and soon
found myself very much at home on the beast, which swam at a prodigious rate
through the ocean; although the surface of the latter is, in that part of the world,
by no means flat, but round like a pomegranate, so that we went—so to
say—either up hill or down hill all the time.’
“That I think, was very singular,”
interrupted the king.
“Nevertheless, it is quite true,”
replied Scheherazade.
“I have my doubts,” rejoined the king;
“but, pray, be so good as to go on with the story.”
“I will,” said the queen. “‘The beast,’
continued Sinbad to the caliph, ‘swam, as I have related, up hill and down hill
until, at length, we arrived at an island, many hundreds of miles in
circumference, but which, nevertheless, had been built in the middle of the sea
by a colony of little things like caterpillars’”<![if !supportFootnotes]>[1]<![endif]>
“Hum!” said the king.
“‘Leaving this island,’ said Sinbad—(for
Scheherazade, it must be understood, took no notice of her husband's
ill-mannered ejaculation) ‘leaving this island, we came to another where the
forests were of solid stone, and so hard that they shivered to pieces the
finest-tempered axes with which we endeavoured to cut them down.<![if !supportFootnotes]>[2]<![endif]>'"
“Hum!” said the king, again; but
Scheherazade, paying him no attention, continued in the language of Sinbad.
“‘Passing beyond this last island, we
reached a country where there was a cave that ran to the distance of thirty or
forty miles within the bowels of the earth, and that contained a greater number
of far more spacious and more magnificent palaces than are to be found in all
Damascus and Bagdad. From the roofs of these palaces there hung myriads of
gems, liked diamonds, but larger than men; and in among the streets of towers
and pyramids and temples, there flowed immense rivers as black as ebony, and
swarming with fish that had no eyes. ‘”<![if !supportFootnotes]>[3]<![endif]>
“Hum!” said the king. “‘We then swam
into a region of the sea where we found a lofty mountain, down whose sides
there streamed torrents of melted metal, some of which were twelve miles wide
and sixty miles long<![if !supportFootnotes]>[4]<![endif]>;
while from an abyss on the summit, issued so vast a quantity of ashes that the
sun was entirely blotted out from the heavens, and it became darker than the
darkest midnight; so that when we were even at the distance of a hundred and
fifty miles from the mountain, it was impossible to see the whitest object,
however close we held it to our eyes.’<![if !supportFootnotes]>[5]<![endif]>”
“Hum!” said the king.
“‘After quitting this coast, the beast
continued his voyage until we met with a land in which the nature of things
seemed reversed—for we here saw a great lake, at the bottom of which, more than
a hundred feet beneath the surface of the water, there flourished in full leaf
a forest of tall and luxuriant trees.’<![if !supportFootnotes]>[6]<![endif]>”
“Hoo!” said the king.
“Some hundred miles farther on brought
us to a climate where the atmosphere was so dense as to sustain iron or steel,
just as our own does feather.’<![if !supportFootnotes]>[7]<![endif]>”
“Fiddle de dee,” said the king.
“Proceeding still in the same direction,
we presently arrived at the most magnificent region in the whole world. Through
it there meandered a glorious river for several thousands of miles. This river
was of unspeakable depth, and of a transparency richer than that of amber. It
was from three to six miles in width; and its banks which arose on either side
to twelve hundred feet in perpendicular height, were crowned with
ever-blossoming trees and perpetual sweet-scented flowers, that made the whole
territory one gorgeous garden; but the name of this luxuriant land was the
Kingdom of Horror, and to enter it was inevitable death.’<![if !supportFootnotes]>[8]<![endif]>”
“Humph!” said the king.
“‘We left this kingdom in great haste,
and, after some days, came to another, where we were astonished to perceive
myriads of monstrous animals with horns resembling scythes upon their heads.
These hideous beasts dig for themselves vast caverns in the soil, of a funnel
shape, and line the sides of them with, rocks, so disposed one upon the other
that they fall instantly, when trodden upon by other animals, thus precipitating
them into the monster's dens, where their blood is immediately sucked, and
their carcasses afterwards hurled contemptuously out to an immense distance
from “the caverns of death.<![if !supportFootnotes]>[9]<![endif]>’”
“Pooh!” said the king.
“‘Continuing our progress, we perceived
a district with vegetables that grew not upon any soil but in the air.<![if !supportFootnotes]>[10]<![endif]>
There were others that sprang from the substance of other vegetables<![if !supportFootnotes]>[11]<![endif]>;
others that derived their substance from the bodies of living animals<![if !supportFootnotes]>[12]<![endif]>;
and then again, there were others that glowed all over with intense fire<![if !supportFootnotes]>[13]<![endif]>;
others that moved from place to place at pleasure,<![if !supportFootnotes]>[14]<![endif]>
and what was still more wonderful, we discovered flowers that lived and
breathed and moved their limbs at will and had, moreover, the detestable
passion of mankind for enslaving other creatures, and confining them in horrid
and solitary prisons until the fulfillment of appointed tasks.’<![if !supportFootnotes]>[15]<![endif]>”
“Pshaw!” said the king.
“‘Quitting this land, we soon arrived at
another in which the bees and the birds are mathematicians of such genius and
erudition, that they give daily instructions in the science of geometry to the
wise men of the empire. The king of the place having offered a reward for the
solution of two very difficult problems, they were solved upon the spot—the one
by the bees, and the other by the birds; but the king keeping their solution a
secret, it was only after the most profound researches and labor, and the
writing of an infinity of big books, during a long series of years, that the
men-mathematicians at length arrived at the identical solutions which had been
given upon the spot by the bees and by the birds.’<![if !supportFootnotes]>[16]<![endif]>”
“Oh my!” said the king.
“‘We had scarcely lost sight of this
empire when we found ourselves close upon another, from whose shores there flew
over our heads a flock of fowls a mile in breadth, and two hundred and forty
miles long; so that, although they flew a mile during every minute, it required
no less than four hours for the whole flock to pass over us—in which there were
several millions of millions of fowl.’<![if !supportFootnotes]>[17]<![endif]>”
“Oh fy!” said the king.
“‘No sooner had we got rid of these
birds, which occasioned us great annoyance, than we were terrified by the
appearance of a fowl of another kind, and infinitely larger than even the rocs
which I met in my former voyages; for it was bigger than the biggest of the
domes on your seraglio, oh, most Munificent of Caliphs. This terrible fowl had
no head that we could perceive, but was fashioned entirely of belly, which was
of a prodigious fatness and roundness, of a soft-looking substance, smooth,
shining and striped with various colors. In its talons, the monster was bearing
away to his eyrie in the heavens, a house from which it had knocked off the
roof, and in the interior of which we distinctly saw human beings, who, beyond
doubt, were in a state of frightful despair at the horrible fate which awaited
them.
We shouted with all our might, in the
hope of frightening the bird into letting go of its prey, but it merely gave a
snort or puff, as if of rage and then let fall upon our heads a heavy sack
which proved to be filled with sand!’”
“Stuff!” said the king.
“‘It was just after this adventure that
we encountered a continent of immense extent and prodigious solidity, but
which, nevertheless, was supported entirely upon the back of a sky-blue cow
that had no fewer than four hundred horns.’<![if !supportFootnotes]>[18]<![endif]>”
“That, now, I believe,” said the king,
“because I have read something of the kind before, in a book.”
“‘We passed immediately beneath this
continent, (swimming in between the legs of the cow, and, after some hours,
found ourselves in a wonderful country indeed, which, I was informed by the
man-animal, was his own native land, inhabited by things of his own species.
This elevated the man-animal very much in my esteem, and in fact, I now began
to feel ashamed of the contemptuous familiarity with which I had treated him;
for I found that the man-animals in general were a nation of the most powerful
magicians, who lived with worms in their brain,<![if !supportFootnotes]>[19]<![endif]>
which, no doubt, served to stimulate them by their painful writhings and
wrigglings to the most miraculous efforts of imagination!’”
“Nonsense!” said the king.
“‘Among the magicians, were domesticated
several animals of very singular kinds; for example, there was a huge horse
whose bones were iron and whose blood was boiling water. In place of corn, he
had black stones for his usual food; and yet, in spite of so hard a diet, he
was so strong and swift that he would drag a load more weighty than the
grandest temple in this city, at a rate surpassing that of the flight of most
birds.’<![if !supportFootnotes]>[20]<![endif]>”
“Twattle!” said the king.
“‘I saw, also, among these people a hen
without feathers, but bigger than a camel; instead of flesh and bone she had
iron and brick; her blood, like that of the horse, (to whom, in fact, she was
nearly related,) was boiling water; and like him she ate nothing but wood or
black stones. This hen brought forth very frequently, a hundred chickens in the
day; and, after birth, they took up their residence for several weeks within
the stomach of their mother.’<![if !supportFootnotes]>[21]<![endif]>”
“Fa! lal!” said the king.
“‘One of this nation of mighty conjurors
created a man out of brass and wood, and leather, and endowed him with such
ingenuity that he would have beaten at chess, all the race of mankind with the
exception of the great Caliph, Haroun Alraschid.<![if !supportFootnotes]>[22]<![endif]>
Another of these magi constructed (of like material) a creature that put to
shame even the genius of him who made it; for so great were its reasoning
powers that, in a second, it performed calculations of so vast an extent that
they would have required the united labor of fifty thousand fleshy men for a
year.<![if !supportFootnotes]>[23]<![endif]>
But a still more wonderful conjuror fashioned for himself a mighty thing that
was neither man nor beast, but which had brains of lead, intermixed with a
black matter like pitch, and fingers that it employed with such incredible
speed and dexterity that it would have had no trouble in writing out twenty
thousand copies of the Koran in an hour, and this with so exquisite a
precision, that in all the copies there should not be found one to vary from another
by the breadth of the finest hair. This thing was of prodigious strength, so
that it erected or overthrew the mightiest empires at a breath; but its powers
were exercised equally for evil and for good. ‘”
“Ridiculous!” said the king.
“‘Among this nation of necromancers
there was also one who had in his veins the blood of the salamanders; for he
made no scruple of sitting down to smoke his chibouc in a red-hot oven until
his dinner was thoroughly roasted upon its floor.<![if !supportFootnotes]>[24]<![endif]>
Another had the faculty of converting the common metals into gold, without even
looking at them during the process.<![if !supportFootnotes]>[25]<![endif]>
Another had such a delicacy of touch that he made a wire so fine as to be
invisible<![if !supportFootnotes]>[26]<![endif]>.
Another had such quickness of perception that he counted all the separate
motions of an elastic body, while it was springing backward and forward at the
rate of nine hundred millions of times in a second.’<![if !supportFootnotes]>[27]<![endif]>”
“Absurd!” said the king.
“‘Another of these magicians, by means
of a fluid that nobody ever yet saw, could make the corpses of his friends
brandish their arms, kick out their legs, fight, or even get up and dance at
his will.
<![if !supportFootnotes]>[28]<![endif]>Another had cultivated his voice to so
great an extent that he could have made himself heard from one end of the world
to the other.
<![if !supportFootnotes]>[29]<![endif]>Another had so long an arm that he could
sit down in Damascus and indite a letter at Bagdad—or indeed at any distance
whatsoever<![if !supportFootnotes]>[30]<![endif]>.
Another commanded the lightning to come down to him out of the heavens, and it
came at his call; and served him for a plaything when it came. Another took two
loud sounds and out of them made a silence. Another constructed a deep darkness
out of two brilliant lights.<![if !supportFootnotes]>[31]<![endif]>
Another made ice in a red-hot furnace<![if !supportFootnotes]>[32]<![endif]>.
Another directed the sun to paint his portrait, and the sun did.
<![if !supportFootnotes]>[33]<![endif]>Another took this luminary with the moon
and the planets, and having first weighed them with scrupulous accuracy, probed
into their depths and found out the solidity of the substance of which they
were made. But the whole nation is, indeed, of so surprising a necromantic
ability, that not even their infants, nor their commonest cats and dogs have
any difficulty in seeing objects that do not exist at all, or that for twenty
millions of years before the birth of the nation itself had been blotted out
from the face of creation.<![if !supportFootnotes]>[34]<![endif]>'"
Analogous experiments in respect to
sound produce analogous results.
“Preposterous!” said the king.
“‘The wives and daughters of these
incomparably great and wise magi,’” continued Scheherazade, without being in
any manner disturbed by these frequent and most ungentlemanly interruptions on
the part of her husband—“‘the wives and daughters of these eminent conjurers
are every thing that is accomplished and refined; and would be every thing that
is interesting and beautiful, but for an unhappy fatality that besets them, and
from which not even the miraculous powers of their husbands and fathers has,
hitherto, been adequate to save. Some fatalities come in certain shapes, and
some in others—but this of which I speak has come in the shape of a crotchet.
‘”
“A what?” said the king.
“‘A crotchet’” said Scheherazade. “‘One
of the evil genii, who are perpetually upon the watch to inflict ill, has put
it into the heads of these accomplished ladies that the thing which we describe
as personal beauty consists altogether in the protuberance of the region which
lies not very far below the small of the back. Perfection of loveliness, they
say, is in the direct ratio of the extent of this lump. Having been long
possessed of this idea, and bolsters being cheap in that country, the days have
long gone by since it was possible to distinguish a woman from a dromedary-’”
“Stop!” said the king—“I can't stand
that, and I won't. You have already given me a dreadful headache with your
lies. The day, too, I perceive, is beginning to break. How long have we been
married?—my conscience is getting to be troublesome again. And then that
dromedary touch—do you take me for a fool? Upon the whole, you might as well
get up and be throttled.”
These words, as I learn from the
“Isitsoornot,” both grieved and astonished Scheherazade; but, as she knew the
king to be a man of scrupulous integrity, and quite unlikely to forfeit his
word, she submitted to her fate with a good grace. She derived, however, great
consolation, (during the tightening of the bowstring,) from the reflection that
much of the history remained still untold, and that the petulance of her brute
of a husband had reaped for him a most righteous reward, in depriving him of
many inconceivable adventures.
<![if !supportFootnotes]>