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Название: |
The Unadulterated Cat
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Автор: |
Pratchett Terry + Joliffe Gray
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Оценка: |
4.0 из 5, проголосовало читателей - 1
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Описание: | The Unadulterated Cat is becoming an endangered species as more and more of us settle for those boring mass-produced cats the ad-men sell us the pussies that purr into their gold-plated food bowls on the telly. But the Campaign for Real Cats sets out to change all that by helping us to recognise a true, unadulterated cat when we see one. For example: real cats have ears that look like they've been trimmed with pinking shears; real cats never wear flea collars & or appear on Christmas cards & or chase anything with a bell in it; real cats do eat quiche. And giblets. And butter. And anything else left on the table, if they think they can get away with it. Real cats can hear a fridge door opening two rooms away & |
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- Terry Pratchett THE UNADULTERATED CAT
- A Campaign for Real Cats
- Getting started
- How to get a cat
- 1. Adverts in the Post Office
- 2. Adverts in posh cat magazines
- 3. Buying a house in the Country
- 4. The Cats Home
- 5. Inheritance
- 6. Joint ownership
- Types of cat
- 1. Farm Cats
- 2. Black Cats with White Paws
- 3. Neighbours Cats
- 4. Boot-faced Cats
- 5. Sort of Tabby Cats with a Bit of Ginger, But Sometimes In the Right Light You Could Swear Theres a Hint of Siamese There
- 6. Factory Cats
- 7. Arch-villains Cats
- 8. Cartoon Cats
- 9. The Sub-Post Office Cat
- 10. Travelling Cats
- 11. The Green, Bio-Organic, Whole Earthbox Cat
- Naming cats
- Illnesses
- Impatient legs
- Flypaper
- Sitting and hiccupping gently (with the occasional burp)
- Eating grass
- Lorries
- Feeding cats
- Training and disciplining the Real cat
- The Great Ballistic Clod of Earth
- Deep Pits with Spikes at the Bottom
- Pushing them into the Pond
- Psychological Warfare
- Calling in the Mafia
- Games cats play
- Cat chess
- Wet cement
- The Builders Nice New Pile of Clean Sand
- Offside
- Being Good
- Schrodinger [ “And I say you must have left a window open ”] Cats
- The Cat in History
- Sex
- Hygiene
- The Real cat on wheels
- The Real cat and other animals
- The Real cat and the gardener
- 1. The Things that Rattle, Bang, Whizz and Whirr
- 2. The Wire Maze
- 3. Chemical warfare, including the Mysterious Blobs, the Terrible Dust and the Curious Gungy Stuff
- 4. The Big Roll of Wire Netting
- 5. The Catapult
- The Real cat and children
- The cats we missed
- The future of the Real cat
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